A whole new level of Snuggie......

Nurses Don't Laugh

"Nurses aren't supposed to laugh." Fred declared.

"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor laughing. A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse, and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen", Fred replied.

Things went downhill from there.......

Proverbs by First Graders

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.

Their insight may surprise you. While reading these, keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!

1. Don't change horses...... .....until they stop running.

2. Strike while the ............ .bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before.....Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of....... ......termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but.............how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ..............looks dirty.

7. No news........ ......... ......... .impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............ ...Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ........ math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll .......stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ............ ..............me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ............ ...pigs.

13. An idle mind is ............ .........the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ............ ....pollution.

15. Happy the bride who ............ .. .....gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ............ ............. .not much.

17. Two's company, three's ............ ......... .the Musketeers

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ...........you put on to go to
bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you cry and......... you have
to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as ............ ....Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ........spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ............ ....get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what ........you see in the
picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind ............ .get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than ............ ......... ......... ....pregnant.